Diablo Cody is pissed? Awesome.

Stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter Diablo Cody is irritated. First of all..wahhhh, you once were a stripper! And now since your stupid little movie Juno got a little recognition, you get to write more films! Boohoo! Personally, I thought Juno was crap and written horribly. One unrealistic shtick of slang after another and all of a sudden, movies over. Super. Anyway, the Oscar winner has finally noticed that people really hate her, and has come out with the rant of all rants on her myspace blog while listening to the Jonas Brothers (what?!) After bragging about all the cool stuff she has been up to lately, she goes on a rampage. Tidbits I found interesting were:

I may have won 19 awards that you don’t feel I earned, but it’s neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you’re not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren’t we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let’s go bitch about how Black Kids are overrated!)

I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you’re bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and– with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the shit out of me.

I’m sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.

I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you’re spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I’m sorry if you think I’m like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.

I am not Charlie Kaufman or Sofia Coppola (much as I supplicate at their Cannes-weary feet.) I'm not Paul Thomas Anderson. I'm not even Paul W.S. Anderson. I am "Diablo Cody" and if you're not a fan, go rent Prospero's Books again and leave me the fuck alone.


Oh go suck one Diablo!